What is Positive Self-Talk for Kids and Why is it Important?

Self-talk, the act of speaking to oneself either silently in the mind or audibly out loud, is a common phenomenon that affects our mental well-being. It involves making statements to ourselves, often for self-regulation rather than communication with others. This internal dialogue can be either positive or negative, influencing our thoughts, beliefs, values, and attitudes about the world and ourselves.

What Is Positive Self-Talk for Kids?

Positive self-talk refers to the practice of using encouraging words and optimistic affirmations when speaking to oneself. It plays a crucial role in helping children perform their best even in challenging situations. Research has shown that children with positive self-talk tend to have higher self-esteem, experience fewer irrational and negative thoughts, and exhibit reduced depressive symptoms compared to those with negative self-talk.

Why Is Positive Self-Talk Important for Kids?

Promoting positive self-talk in children has numerous benefits. It boosts their confidence and reduces anxiety, leading to a more positive outlook on life. Children who engage in positive self-talk are more likely to believe in themselves, learn from their mistakes, and stay motivated in pursuing their goals.

How Positive Self-Talk Develops:

Children naturally engage in self-talk without explicit instruction from parents. This internal dialogue is initially influenced by external interactions, such as conversations with parents or caregivers. Over time, these interactions become internalized, transforming into an inner voice. By around ages 3 to 8, self-talk shifts from overt expressions to a more adult-like dialogue.

Tips to Help Children Develop Positive Self-Talk:

  1. Focus on the Positive: Parents and caregivers can nurture positive self-talk in children by providing positive interactions and statements in their daily lives. Celebrating achievements and refraining from excessive focus on shortcomings can foster a healthier internal dialogue.
  2. Encourage Positive Statements: Encourage children to recognize and appreciate positive aspects in their lives beyond just significant achievements. Daily affirmations, such as kindness, honesty, and perseverance, can help them develop a more optimistic mindset.
  3. Replace Negative Self-Talk: Teach children to identify negative self-talk and replace it with positive phrases. Consistent practice of this coping skill can lead to a more effective and constructive mindset.
  4. Teach Growth Mindset: Instilling a growth mindset in children helps them believe that their abilities can improve through learning and practice. This mindset enables resilience and a positive attitude towards challenges.
  5. Help Them Master a New Skill: Encourage children to explore and develop skills aligned with their interests. Mastering a new skill can boost confidence and generate a positive mindset.
  6. Emotion Coaching: Allow children to express their feelings and emotions openly. Parents can help them identify and handle negative feelings during challenging situations, promoting healthy self-regulation and emotional resilience.


Developing positive self-talk in children is a gradual process that requires deliberate practice and nurturing from parents and caregivers. By fostering this essential life skill, children can build self-esteem, resilience, and a positive attitude that will benefit them throughout their lives.

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